Monday, June 19, 2006

International Incident

Saturday evening Husband and I were invited to a house-warming party. The evening, which included a meal for 50, was to begin at 8:30. Due to babysitter issues, we arrived about 15 minutes late. At that point, the hosts were just setting out the fixings for apéritif. My crab dip (yes, I made crab dip for 50) - which was actually a shrimp dip because the hostess bought cans of shrimp instead of crab - crudités, puff pastry rounds filled with boudin noir (blood sausage - don't ask), and crostini with tapenade (beverage was punch). Apéritif lasted a long time. Seriously. When we sat down to eat it was 10:00. Dinner was roasted suckling pig, stewed beans from Vendée, and roasted tomatoes (beverage was a hearty red).

At 12:00, hour at which Husband and I had promised the babysitter we would be home, we were still eating the cheese course (beverage was another hearty red). At the rate things were going, dessert was going to be served at 1:00. We finished our cheese and decided we had to leave. Our kids wake up early, both of us had slept badly the night before, and the babysitter is only 15 and had a tennis match the next morning. However, leaving a dinner party early is a little delicate. We're often the first to leave (I'm so not a night-owl) and our hosts knew that but the other 46 people didn't. We were all seated at one huge L-shaped table outside on the L-shaped deck. I certainly wasn't going to kiss both cheeks of 48 people, so we just decided to kiss the hosts and wave goodbye to the other 46. Unfortunately, our hosts were not seated in the most accessible seats. As I made my way around the table, I realized I was going to have to lean in to faire la bise (the kiss on each cheek thing). As I leaned towards the hostess, one of my breasts bopped a guest on the head. Hmm. What to do in a situation like that. Well, you know, I'm a pretty straight-forward person. So I said, addressing said guest with the formal vous (I mean, I may have bopped him with my breast but we hadn't been introduced.), "I'm sorry, I believe I bopped the back of your head with my breast." Everyone at the table starts laughing and said guest turns around, smiles, and says (also using formal vous), "Not at all. The pleasure was all mine." Lots more laughter. We quickly exited stage left.

11 comments:

Eric said...

LOL That was amusing. And roast Suckling pig. Ah that is my culinary Grail

beth said...

What is it like to have breast big enought to bop someone in the head? Personally, I am a bit jealous! Lucky you!

Amy said...

HHhhhhmmmm... I read about just such an incident on the AP wire this morning... the names were withheld to protect the innocent... or is it the guilty, I always forget?

I wonder.... (smile)

Nicole said...

Eric - It was pretty cool - they hired a guy whose family business is roasting suckling pigs. They set up the whole deal on the driveway so when we arrived it was in the final stages. Then, when it was time to eat, the removed the pig, scooped out all the stuffing, and started serving.

Beth - Even if you had breasts big enough to bop, you're too short, you would've bopped his shoulder. Ha!

Amy - Maybe I actually did it on purpose so journalists will have something to talk about other than Brangelina.

charlie said...

Was he bald???? Lucky man, if so.

beth said...

Nicole - the short thing really sucks when you're pregnant. At 5'2 my belly gets in the way of everything!

Grish said...

Lol. Funny. Just how many pounds of crab dip does it take to feed 50 people anyways? .. hehe

Nicole said...

Charlie - I was wearing clothes, you know.

Grish - Well, I used a kilogram of cream cheese and 800 grams of shrimp plus all the rest of the stuff. Maybe 5 lbs?

Lorraine said...

I think you should go into the diplomatic corps.

Nicole said...

Lorraine - You think I have a gift don't you?

Nicole said...

PS - Lorraine - I clearly have the wrong corps to be in the diplomatic corps. Heeheehee.