Saturday evening Husband and I were invited to a house-warming party. The evening, which included a meal for 50, was to begin at 8:30. Due to babysitter issues, we arrived about 15 minutes late. At that point, the hosts were just setting out the fixings for apéritif. My crab dip (yes, I made crab dip for 50) - which was actually a shrimp dip because the hostess bought cans of shrimp instead of crab - crudités, puff pastry rounds filled with boudin noir (blood sausage - don't ask), and crostini with tapenade (beverage was punch). Apéritif lasted a long time. Seriously. When we sat down to eat it was 10:00. Dinner was roasted suckling pig, stewed beans from Vendée, and roasted tomatoes (beverage was a hearty red).
At 12:00, hour at which Husband and I had promised the babysitter we would be home, we were still eating the cheese course (beverage was another hearty red). At the rate things were going, dessert was going to be served at 1:00. We finished our cheese and decided we had to leave. Our kids wake up early, both of us had slept badly the night before, and the babysitter is only 15 and had a tennis match the next morning. However, leaving a dinner party early is a little delicate. We're often the first to leave (I'm so not a night-owl) and our hosts knew that but the other 46 people didn't. We were all seated at one huge L-shaped table outside on the L-shaped deck. I certainly wasn't going to kiss both cheeks of 48 people, so we just decided to kiss the hosts and wave goodbye to the other 46. Unfortunately, our hosts were not seated in the most accessible seats. As I made my way around the table, I realized I was going to have to lean in to faire la bise (the kiss on each cheek thing). As I leaned towards the hostess, one of my breasts bopped a guest on the head. Hmm. What to do in a situation like that. Well, you know, I'm a pretty straight-forward person. So I said, addressing said guest with the formal vous (I mean, I may have bopped him with my breast but we hadn't been introduced.), "I'm sorry, I believe I bopped the back of your head with my breast." Everyone at the table starts laughing and said guest turns around, smiles, and says (also using formal vous), "Not at all. The pleasure was all mine." Lots more laughter. We quickly exited stage left.