In the beginning, your gut was your compass. Not the instinct whose spark waits there. Had that been the case, there would have been considerably less trouble. Both sought and found. No, unfortunately, or not - that could be argued either way and everyone knows contention was your second nature - that's where the tornado was silently forming. Violence had became the lowest common denominator and math was the first language you spoke.
In the middle, your mind took control, made a plan, drew a map. It was military-like in its precision and detail. And everyone knows you were a gifted militant, convinced and convincing. Strategies and wars made into artful games. You lost, even when you won.
In the end, you will set those two aside. Not enemies, but you see now that survival is their only goal - and it is an individual one, they're unaware they're on a team. On this bridge over the water that does not move, I believe you will make the right decision. It will be so right, you won't even have to make it. Violence and strategies will give way to silence. You will let your quiet heart lead you.
11 comments:
On "A three card spread".
This must have been an exhausting forecast to write. The reduction of the human essence to cause & effect, cold math and strategy is an ugly place. It is horrendous and unfathomable...for a while...
But after a time, and from a healthy distance, the one who has alone felt the magnatude of that tearing tornado, can heal. Can see the destruction and view its path backward through time.
While standing on two strong legs, breathing with clear lungs, this one who has endured violence can calmly call a spade a spade. And survival, survival. Nothing more, nothing less.
With time and her decision to follow the call of the human essence, she bravely climbs mountains, bridges, and the trecherous path to grace.
--my heart is here too.
Stace - Realzie poetic imagery is to be interpretive, but am not following the comment about your enduring of violence??
Stacy - You write the best comments ever.
Kevin - I read it as her heart being in the place she refers to in her 4th paragraph - that is the part she recognizes and shares, not necessarily the rest. Stacy?
yes, thank you Nicole. I was so worried that I wrote something wrong, or did a bad job of revising a sentence somewhere.
Absolutely right - I like to think of life as an endevour to ensure that goodness wins. It has taken me 38 years to get to that idea. We all have to endure very painful things. No one is immune. It's the learning and decision making and choice in the face of pain that matures us and affords us the opportunity to give goodness back to the world.
Kev- I wasn't reffering to you, (*gasp*) for heaven's sake! No, no, no, I'm reffering to the fact that I love to see people heal. My heart is there; in the healing.
I hope that clarifies....
Thanks to both of you for the clarifications - I selfishly internalized your comment (or insecurely thought anyone reading it may have as well). 'Need to rely on the chakras...
You both have poetic talents that I really admire.
Great posting Nicole! The last paragraph on the "bridge above the water that does not move" did cause me to pause. Hope it's not some omenous preminition?
Anon - Interesting that you would find something ominous in that paragraph.
Anon - don't know how that happened - I'm fine, if you're reading something into that last paragraph, maybe we should be talking about how you are and maybe you should sign your name.
Anon - Although I do, of course, appreciate the concern. Read Stacy's first comment, her reading of it is spot on.
My God, Nicole, but you are such a talented writer. I knew you were good but reading your blog this morning I have to say I stand very moved by your talent. :) I hope you are having a blast in Paris. Take care!
Have you always been a poet?
Your friend, ~C
Charis - Thank you - your comment means a lot to me for many reasons. Poet? I don't know about that. Something maybe.
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