Stating the obvious

Things not to do if you work in a lingerie shop.

1. Take a hangered item out of a customer's hand while saying with a sneer, "That's definitely not your size."

2. Gasp and make a face of horror when a client lifts her shirt slightly to show salesclerk person how high up a bathing suit bottom must go to cover up some traces of childbearing.

Of course, none of this happened to me or anything.

I'm just saying.

Shaking my booty, apparently

This morning during a break, one of my students said ,''J'aime beaucoup votre déhanchement, Madame." I really like your.... I had never heard of déhancher or déhanchement. Given the fact that all the other students had rather vocal reactions to his comment, I was worried. I know that hanche is hip (the body part) so I was thinking hipness, but no, hip is only hip (cool) in English. Hippiness. God no, I'm no hippy. (Yes, of course, no friggin' offense to all the hippies out there. You're lovely people.) I sought help.

The secretary, who speaks English really well, reassured me. No, she said, it just means he likes the way you walk. Uh huh.

Husband put it differently.

During lunch, I asked him what déhancher means. He asked for the context. I gave it. He said, "It means you shake your ass when you walk."

Well I never.

I'm living in a frat house

I took the boys to get their hair cut yesterday afternoon. When we got back to the house, I told them to go upstairs for a shower (to get all the little hairs off).

When I walked into the bathroom, Boy1 was trying to make fart noises with his arm (the hand in the armpit thing) and Boy2 was peeing in the empty bathtub.

During dinner, I actually had to say, "It's not ok to touch your private parts at the table."