Friday, October 03, 2008

Chasing my tail

I've been absent lately. In so many ways. I'd say that my life feels like it is not my own, but that would sound like I was denying responsibility. Which I am not. I'm taking full responsibility - maybe that's why it doesn't feel like my own. I had no idea I was capable of creating such a huge mess.

And I keep waiting to turn a corner but the corner seems to be backing up as I get closer to it. That's weird.

I still haven't blogged about the award. Which I'm currently not feeling like I deserve. Which I will do this weekend, I swear. I mean blog about it, not deserve it.

In the meantime.

I was sitting here at the computer feeling junky and then I looked out the window and saw a huge perfect rainbow. Which made me smile because rainbows really don't belong to October and they certain don't belong to this moment.

Maybe St. Anthony thinks I've lost something. I'm sure he's right. Think he'll find it for me even if I don't know what it is I've lost?

7 comments:

beth said...

You can spend a lifetime in search of what is lost - and half of the time one never really knows what they are searching for. Try a good book, some wonderful chocolate and a bottle of wine - and maybe it will help. As far as feeling lost, I've felt like that on and off for my entire life.

Lorraine said...

St. Anthony is very fond of you. So am I, but I can't send you a rainbow or a clover to prove it.

Anonymous said...

Nicole, its that time of year when I can't resist and just have to add my two-cents. You're not feeling lost; you're feeling like a Cub fan.

Nicole said...

Beth- Red wine and cashews for dinner.

Lorraine - No proof necessary.

Anon - Oh Anon. When I start blogging about the mess you're going to feel so guilty about that comment.

Blu said...

sometimes we cannot see what is right in front of us.

zeb said...

You have the boys this weekend? I will call Sunday just not sure what time is best.

The Idle Devil said...

Sure he will. Sent you the rainbow didnt he? :)