Monday, May 11, 2009

The look I've gotten

There is a look that people sometimes give you when something has happened to you since they last saw you.

Ok, I don't think I could be any more vague than that.

If something major, and by major I mean badish or very bad major, and by that I mean - no seriously, this is just going from vague to outright confusing. Did you know that there are actually a couple of people out there who've used the term Nicole-ism? Probably for this kind of thing.

Ok. So, let's say you lost your job or you lost your house or your marriage ended or a close family member became very ill or something along those lines.

If you see some who has heard that event X has occurred in your life and s/he hasn't seen you since event X, you get one of two looks.

From people who have experienced event X themselves, you get a quiet look, a faded and pained echo in their eyes and silent and very discreet compassion and perhaps an equally discreet offer for help or support of one variety or another. All this happens within seconds and lasts even less. They do not dwell on it, not even for a moment.

From someone who has never experienced event X or even anything similar, you get the look. The head tilts slightly to the side and you get probing eye contact and a very heavy and significant, "How are you?" Not to complain, there is no malice or indiscretion, they are full of kindness and concern, and maybe a little curiosity as to how on earth you've survived another day.

Question of the day: have you ever gotten the look?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, I've gotten and given the look - I am painfully aware of it.

Anonymous said...

i looked at myself
in the mirror
8 days ago
the reflection tilted her head.

Nicole said...

anon 1 - I think a 2 year look hiatus is in order.

anon 2 - I hope you blew her a kiss.

knavak said...

Didnt Tom Selleck describe this look and corresponding tilt of the head in the episode of Friends when he and monica started falling for each other? I think he recommended responding with some sort of "head bob" motion or something.