Joyeux Noël

It's a strange Christmas this year for a variety of reasons. I hadn't bought any gifts as of saturday. Yeah, the saturday we just had a couple of days ago. Nor had I planned my menu for last night's dinner. Which, thankfully, ended up being delicious. I made my first tarte tatin, with extra caramel au beurre salé, of course. The boys loved it but still wanted chocolate sorbet afterwards. I haven't been in the mood for Christmas at all this year, also very strange. But here it is anyway. Enjoy it.

There has been a system error.

You know that system. The one where I take care of my kids, cook 3 nice meals a day, keep the house clean and the laundry done, bond with my husband, do my job well, help out at the kids' school, and still have time to do other things I like - drink coffee that doesn't come from a machine that serves it in plastic cups, blog, nuture friendships, read, and respond to emails that have been in my inbox for months.

There is a weak link in the system and I have a sinking feeling I'm it.

What would you have thought if you had heard this?

Sometimes I am so glad people around here don't speak English that well.

Like yesterday at the grocery store.

Boy2 was having a hard time. He was unhappy about the rules of conduct (no running around, no fussing, no arguing with his brother and no asking me to buy stuff).

After being reminded of them, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted.

I said, "You need to come with me to the next aisle. I'm not going to wait for you here to get your act together."

His reply, "No Mama. What I need is to live my own life."

Working it.

Occupational illnesses. Maladies professionnelles in French which I think is funny because it sounds like the illness is very professional instead of sounding like it's linked to the job.

Never given it much thought really. Aside from the obvious ones. Lumbar stuff for heavy lifters, lung stuff for coal miners, chronic colds for grade school teachers. How dim am I? Apparently there's an illness or two for every job out there.

Butchers? Bacteria. Factory workers? Noise. French civil servants? Laziness Depression.

As for me, an English teacher to 20-year olds who really couldn't care less? Headaches I get from banging my head against the wall.

Someone push my off button

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you're floating above your body, watching and listening to yourself, powerless to keep yourself from doing or saying that thing that's about to make you cringe? Let me illustrate.

I was at a PTA meeting at the Boys' Catholic school. Very nice people, very relaxed meeting where we had been discussing the set up and profits of the Christmas market. We were drinking tea and eating galette des rois. Bascially the meeting was over and we were just chatting. Yeah, that makes it less cringesque.

One of the members is pregnant (with her 5th [!] child). Someone asked her is she was planning to breastfeed. Someone asked me if I had breastfed mine. When I told them I weaned the boys at 2 1/2, I got an evitable, "2 1/2 years? Oh my gosh that's so long. What about their teeth?" This is the standard comment amongst populations where breasfeeding typically stops at 3 or 6 months, tops. Which is fine. People have always been respectful of my choices here, including where, when and how long I nursed. Anyway.

So I responded with my standard, "No, teeth aren't a problem. They can nurse without hurting you with their teeth. And they know that." Really? But still, blah blah blah. A lot of moms have a thing about the teeth thing. So finally, exasperated, I said, "You know, it's like with a straw, you don't have to put your teeth on the straw when you use one." Yeah, but still the teeth thing. Just couldn't let it go. So finally, REALLY exasperated, I said, "Oh come on, I can think of at least 2 fairly mainstream sexual acts that involve sucking things without the use of teeth."

At least the pregnant mom laughed.

I don't think they're going to include that in the meeting report.