Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Huh?

I hurt my back this weekend. I was looking for my diplomas, if you can imagine that. I haven't seen the things in years. But one of my new employers wants a copy of each to, I don't know, prove to someone I actually have them, I guess. I looked in my current filing area. No diplomas. So I tackled a closet in the bedroom where I keep stuff from home I don't need but don't want to get rid of. All those research papers from graduate school, tons of linguistic books, and maybe some diplomas. A big, full filing box was up on a shelf, I took it down in a way that did not please my left hip or my entire lower back. Picky, picky, picky.

So, since saturday morning my back's been pissed at me. I was hoping things would just kind of work themselves back into place, but apparently not. So, yesterday, while continuing to look for the diplomas, I called around to see if I could get an appointment, quickly, with an osteopath. Done! One I've seen before, who is quite competent, could see me on tuesday. Yeah! And, bonus, yesterday afternoon I found one (out of three) diploma. But, even better, I found a transcript from all three degree programs with DEGREE EARNED at the bottom. Given that all of it's in English anyway and the fact that I seriously doubt the person who'll be reading it will actually be reading it, I figure the transcripts will do the trick.

This morning I went to see the osteopath. Who I've seen before, who has never hurt me or said anything even slightly cooky.

For one hour I was manipulated, in the osteopathic sense of the term, to help back and hip find happiness again. But, man, it hurt so much. I've never hurt like that in an osteopath's office, ever, and I've seen my fair share. The worst, or best, was that he wasn't not doing a good job, he was doing a great job. Anyway, at the end of the appointment, I, dripping in sweat (and not for sexy reasons) asked what the deal was. Why had it hurt so much and what had I done to whack things so far out?

I could not translate, or even understand, the explanation. I can only give you the last sentence, the easiest to understand and the only one I could retain.

"You may be right-handed physically, but emotionally you're definitely left-handed."

Huh?

I considered asking for further explanation, but I'd suffered enough for one morning. AND, I realized (take that, Charlie) that I had my new joker . When the going gets tough, I can always plead innocence on the basis of what must be a serious contradiction for poor me. Right-handed in my head and left-handed in my heart.

13 comments:

charlie said...

I took it, I took it, like a man!

Left, sinister, gauche. Right, dexter, adroit.

Better to be ambidextrous, emotionally speaking, no?

zeb said...

I think what he really meant was you are a women

Nicole said...

Charlie - good work. Organization, realization, oregano, sweater, pants and fanny pack!

Zeb - I cannot believe you wrote that. I am so gonna kick your ass one day. With my right foot.

beth said...

If you ever get a futher explanation, please let me know. I was told almost the exact same thing about myself about 4 months ago.
ps - hope your back feels better. And, only you are smart enough (and Zeb too) to have so many degrees that it takes a weekend to locate them all!

charlie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nicole said...

Beth - I can't believe there's someone else out there saying such things. Who told you?

zeb said...

Make sure you tell your husband what I said I am sure he will like it.

Nicole said...

Zeb -- I did and he did. Small, sexist minds think alike.

zeb said...

I thought the saying was great minds think alike.

beth said...

I was told that when I had my one and only prenatal massage - and I didn't ask her to explain - maybe I should have.
ps - hope the heat has let up for you.

zeb said...

beth you are too nice to my sister. I hope for the boys enjoyment it stays hot, ice cream and videos all day long.

beth said...

Zeb - It's easy to be nice when I'm sitting in my very comfortable air conditioned home!

Grish said...

After reading your post here, I realized that I have no idea where my diplomas are either. How disturbingly funny.