Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Lay your hands on me

In the past 36 hours, I've seen an acupuncturist, an energy therapist, a massage therapist, and an osteopath.

Which is to say that I've been unblocked, re-energized, relaxed, and realigned.

Short term results: very tired.

Long term: too early to tell.

I did all of this, saw all those people, well, partially because I've been meaning to but never get around to it and the boys are away until tomorrow and I didn't have any classes yesterday or today so it was logistically possible. But really, it's because I was feeling stuck in the worst possible way and I figured if I could get the inside unstuck the outside might follow.

You know what I'm talking about.

As within, so without.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Lost piece and peace

France and I used to have a good relationship. I liked her, she liked me. We got along well. I realize now, of course, (isn't that always the way?) that our relationship worked so well because I had molded myself around her. Which, as any foreigner knows, you have to do - at least to a certain extent - otherwise, well, you know.

Problem is, I molded a little bit too much. So now I've got to unmold (hard work, by the way) and then renegotiate our relationship.

I'm not too concerned, she's more flexible than she appears, and, hopefully, so am I.

In the meantime, St. Anthony.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Signs and transitions

There's a street sign in France that's round and has a diagonal slash on it. In the upper half 1-15 is written and 15-31 in the lower half. And it tells you that you're on a street where parking is allowed on the left side for the first half of the month and on the right side for the second half. Cars are supposed to be switched to the appropriate side on the last day between 8 and 10 pm or something along those lines. I don't remember all the details. I took the written driver's license test here when I was pregnant with Boy1, who will be 8 in a few days.

Anyway, I have to drive on a street with that parking system every day on my way to work. Which is fine, it's a perfectly functional street. For 20 days out of the month. The other 10? Not so much.

It's that whole transition problem.

From the 15th to the 20th, there are cars parked on both sides of the street. As well as from the last day of the month until the 5th of the following month. Which would be perfectly acceptable if it were a street wide enough to accommodate parking on both sides, which it is not, which is why it sports that sign in the first place.

I'm not complaining, I weave that street 10 days a month, just like the rest of the people who drive on it. I'm just noticing.

We see signs but we don't always heed them. Because transitions require effort.

So we ignore for as long as we can and then we just do what needs to be done.

I've asked this before but I'll ask it again, how well do you transition?

Friday, October 17, 2008

The things I'll never know

1. Why I've come to feel like even more of a foreigner here this year than I ever have before.

2. How overtones become undertones. And the opposite.

3. Why violet ice cream tastes so amazing and lavender ice cream tastes like soap.

4. Why it's so hard to do things that are good for you and so easy to do things that are not.

What will you never know?

Please, no politics.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Dodge this

Or we could also call this random.

1. Two more rainbows followed last friday's. Which means that St. Anthony thinks I've lost several things.

2. I've voted and sent off my ballot. The overseas American population votes fairly predictably. Military populations usually vote Republican and expat populations usually vote Democrat. I think I read somewhere that expat ballots got 'lost' 4 years ago. Of course, the military ballots were safely delivered and counted 3 times.

3. I really am going to get back to regular blogging. Starting Monday. It's my almost mid-October resolution.

4. I mentioned to a friend what a friend mentioned to me - Jung said that whatever you've stuck in a box and haven't dealt with becomes problematic after 35. So I'm currently trying to imagine these boxes I've got as lovely Christmas presents and not the time bombs in pretty wrapping that they really are.

5. Esquiver. To dodge or avoid.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Chasing my tail

I've been absent lately. In so many ways. I'd say that my life feels like it is not my own, but that would sound like I was denying responsibility. Which I am not. I'm taking full responsibility - maybe that's why it doesn't feel like my own. I had no idea I was capable of creating such a huge mess.

And I keep waiting to turn a corner but the corner seems to be backing up as I get closer to it. That's weird.

I still haven't blogged about the award. Which I'm currently not feeling like I deserve. Which I will do this weekend, I swear. I mean blog about it, not deserve it.

In the meantime.

I was sitting here at the computer feeling junky and then I looked out the window and saw a huge perfect rainbow. Which made me smile because rainbows really don't belong to October and they certain don't belong to this moment.

Maybe St. Anthony thinks I've lost something. I'm sure he's right. Think he'll find it for me even if I don't know what it is I've lost?