That place

I went to see my acupuncturist this week. She did the stuff that acupuncturists do, felt all the pulses on each wrist, looked at my tongue, asked 20 questions. She sighed and let her hands fall to her side. She suggested I try to avoid weeks like last week. Or at least letting myself get into such a state after a week like last week. And she's right, of course. It's not what happens, it's the story we tell ourselves about what happens.

The ear tack wouldn't even help this time. Drastic measures.

There are really only two acupuncture points that I HATE having needled. Given how many there are, that's nothing. The first is Kidney1, which is in the middle of the sole of your foot. Hurts like hell. Seriously. And I never say that about acupuncture. I love acupuncture. The other, I discovered this week, is Governing Vessel 26. Which is about one third of the way towards your nose up from your lip, in the middle of that little groove. Which probably has an official name. It's an amazing point and stimulating it clears the senses and promotes resuscitation. Which I definitely needed.

It's also a beautiful point. With lovely acupuncture names. It's the first of thirteen Ghost Points. I have no idea what that means but I like the way it sounds. This point is also known as Ghost Palace or Water Channel. See what I mean? There's also a sweet story about that groove in French. It's said to be an angel's fingerprint, left when s/he gently presses a fingertip to a newborn's lips, to remind the baby not to reveal to the world the mysteries of the universe, which it is born knowing and learns to forget.

Lovely names and stories aside, given the pain that needle inflicted, I have vowed to no longer visit the state that led me to it.

Where soft meets hard

Remember when I flew over the mountains a few weeks ago? Fossils were not the only things I saw.

I also saw, amid the lower mountains, a rocky caldron filled with clouds as white as marshmallow fluff. The clouds rippled, literally, against the edges of the mountain. Silken whispers.

It occured to me then that I would not find truth in the wind but in that place where yielding meets resistance and wins, hands down, every time. Where giving up actually means getting. I think, today at least, that is where the truth lies. And you can't hear it or see it or even receive it, you can just brush up against it, and hope it leaves a mark.

Through, not around

I know, I know. You're all getting really tired of me writing about stuff like this. What happened to the French stories? The food stories? The foot-in-mouth stories?

Well, I cannot say. I only know that I don't have any of those. My life isn't feeling very Frenchified as of late, or maybe I've been here for so long that I don't even notice when it is, and I haven't had much of an appetite lately so there goes the food thing, and my foot is nowhere near my mouth right now, it's firmly planted on floor. Well, the black high-heeled boot that is currently housing my foot is firmly planted on the floor.

So, this is all you're getting for now.

Chaos. Le Chaos. It should be enough to know that when you get to the other side of it, life will be good. That knowledge should be enough to make the chaos bearable. Should. I hate shoulds. Modal verbs, in general, suck.

So here's my question: How good are you at accepting the discomfort of chaos?

I smell desperate longing

Well, happy new year and all that.

I've never liked December 31st very much, well, at least not for the new year aspect. It's my brother's birthday so I like it for that reason alone. I don't really like January 1st much either. I like every other day of the year though. The new year starts in September anyway, everyone knows that.

So, obviously, I don't want to talk about what I'm hoping for this year or dreaming of this year because hopes and dreams quickly become more than that and that just puts you into a terrible state (no, not Texas) - the state of desperate longing. You know the one I'm talking about, it smells like roses.

So here's my question: what do you desperately long for?

A few franco-americano things

1. The US government is planning on making visas obligatory for all European travellers, tourists and business poeople alike. Husband's very pleased about that one.

2. It goes without saying, of course, that if they go ahead with that plan, some European governmental body will then make visas obligatory for all American travellers.

3. Isn't this fun?

Counting the hours

I got an offer for a huge promotion at one of my jobs this week. HUGE. It's a management position, I'd be in charge of all the teachers and administative nightmares. It's a full-time real job thingy.

I came home and told Husband about it. We both sighed. Because it would be great. He knows how much I'd like to things other than teach all the time. And of course the extra cash would be very welcome. And of course we both know I can't accept it. So we sighed again.

We said, in chorus, "On ne peut pas être deux à ne pas compter les heures."

Indeed. Both of us can't not count the hours. Of work. Not with kids. I know some people do but it's just not our thing. When he was a student, Husband worked in the day camps where kids go here when no one is home. And he doesn't want our kids there. And neither do I.

I see the kids who spend 10-11 hours a day at school. I see the little ones cry when it's Mama time at 4:30 and they've got two more hours to go before their Mama time. And when we invite one of the bigger ones over for lunch during the week, they're so grateful it makes my teeth hurt.

A friend who works in Human Resources at my other job suggested I ask for the sky, just for the heck of it. Which I'm planning on doing. 2 months off in the summer without pay (what's not to like there?), 50% of all other school vacations off (with pay) and the possibility of working from home for the other 50%.

I did try to milk the whole situation, mentioning to my other manager that I had been offered a big deal promotion. Scare her a little. Let her know I'm big promotion material.

What? I am. I'm just big promotion material on a school year schedule.

Oh yeah. Did I mention I need to finish everyday at 4:15 so I can pick the boys up from school?

I know, I know, they'd be lucky to have me.

Borrowing more trouble

But it's not me this time.

I got a newsletter from my co-op last week. Announcing that they would be phasing out over the next month all products made by Sanoflore. Which is a little company that sells organic essential oils, flower waters, and skin care products. Why are they phasing out these products? Because Sanoflore has been bought by L'Oréal. Now I get that L'Oréal is a giant and has historically a bad reputation for animal testing and other unethical practices. But I still think it's kind of premature. Don't you think they should wait for them to screw with the quality or drop the organic label or exploite small farm-owners before they take action? Preemptive strikes are less and less popular these days. Just ask Bush.

Along similar lines, there were demonstrations and strikes last week against the new-but-not-yet-sworn-in-president-of-France, Nicolas Sarkozy. Students in a Paris univeristy were striking against against potential changes in the French university system. Seriously, I'm thinking he should at least be sworn in before they go on strike. Or jeez, maybe they could actually wait until he tries to pass a law or make a decision . But I'm just old-fashioned that way.